1 A Birth Story...12 months later

This week I am home with my little boy as we prepare to celebrate his first year of life.  I have been reminiscing all week about this past year and especially about his birth.  Shortly after I had Jackson I wrote this birth story so that I could remember every detail and emotion that day.  I wasn't blogging back when I wrote this and frankly I'm not sure anyone but myself wants to read it but I am posting it here because I want it to be a part of this space.  In a few short days our little boy will be One!

In the days and weeks before Jackson’s birth I hoped and prayed for two things. First and foremost I prayed that he and I would be safe and healthy. In the weeks leading up to our delivery, Jackson had been having low heart rates and they were concerned about his ability to handle labor. I just wanted him to be safe. Second I prayed that he would come on his own. I was terrified of being induced. Although he never did make his arrival on his own, God blessed me in so many other ways that day. He had a plan far bigger than mine.

When it looked as though I wasn’t going to go into labor on my own, our doctor scheduled me to be induced on April 13^th. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t know the excitement of the spontaneity of going into labor as well as scared of the horror stories of inductions gone wrong. In hindsight it was kind of nice to have a plan and know exactly what was going to happen and when.

The day before induction!

The day before our induction Jess and I rested and napped on the couch in the early afternoon hours and finished packing our bags for the hospital. I must have double checked that we had everything about a hundred times. We said a long good-bye to our puppy, knowing we wouldn’t see her for a few days and then went to Fazoli’s for a nice dinner. I remember at dinner we were so giddy with excitement that we just kept reviewing all the things we would never do alone again. On the drive to the hospital the nerves set in and we both looked at each other and said “let’s go back home and do this later”.

Tuesday night we checked into the hospital at 9 p.m. and settled into our hospital room. My nurses drew my blood, put in my IV, and prepped me for the events of the next 24 hours. At about 11 p.m. my nurse checked my cervix and put in the cervical gel to soften my cervix overnight. I was dilated to a one and a half and 70 percent effaced. At that time I decided it would be best to take a sleeping pill and try to get some rest for the big day.

Ready for Sleep

I was only able to sleep for about 1 hour when I began to have contractions. The nurse had warned me that some people can have contractions from the gel and that some can even start labor once the gel is given. After 45 minutes of painful contractions every five minutes I decided to call my nurse in to figure out if I was actually in labor. She hooked me up to the fetal and contraction monitors and told me that we would watch for a few hours and see how things progress.

Shortly after she left the room I woke Jess up so he could help me through the contractions. He pulled his recliner over, held my hand, and helped me breathe through each contraction. Those few hours drug on and on and finally it was time to check and see if I made any progress. I had been contracting about every 3 to 5 minutes from 2a.m. until 5a.m. and I thought for sure I had to have made some kind of progress. I was fully effaced at that time but I had not dilated any further than the one and a half I had come in at.

I remember thinking how can that be, I have had all of these contractions and pain for nothing. I knew then that I was going to need some relief so that I could get some rest before they started the pitocin in just a few short hours. The nurse had told me that the contractions would be worse once they started the medicine and I was worried that the pain coupled with no sleep would make for a difficult day.

I asked the nurse to give me something at that time to help me with the pain. She gave me a dose of Stadol and told me to try and get a little sleep. Well sleep was not a problem after that. I entered some sort of alternate dimension. I dreamt about crazy things and remember hearing things around me but not being able to respond. Needless to say I won’t be taking that drug EVER again.

One of the ways God blessed me that day was by allowing my dear friend and an amazing nurse Stella to care for me on the most special day of my life; the day I became a Mother. She has a finesse to her nursing and an insane love for babies. I would not have wanted anyone else to be taking care of me that day. She truly treated me as though I was one of her own family members.

When Stella started her shift she got things going. The pitocin was started around 7a.m. and I was still in a haze from lack of sleep and Stadol. I remember her telling me what we were doing but not really comprehending it fully. It was probably better that way considering I am usually a nervous Nelly.

Stella knew I was all for an epidural and when she found out the anesthesia resident would be doing a c-sections she made sure I was getting my epidural before they started the other case. My epidural was placed and I was resting comfortably by 8:30 a.m. Dr. Carter came in to see me shortly after the epidural and she decided to go ahead and break my water seeing as they didn’t think I would labor very quickly.

Epidural + Pitocin = One happy Momma!

Finally I was able to get some rest and after a long night of being in pain, sleep came instantly. I labored for several hours in a deep sleep while my hubby got some much needed rest too. I look back and wonder what we would have done had we not gotten those few hours of sleep.

At 10:30 a.m. Stella came in and checked my cervix to see how I was progressing. We were all astounded when I was dilated to 7cm. I decided that I had better call my parents and have them come to the hospital since I had progressed quickly. My Mom arrived first and although Jess and I wanted to be the only ones there for delivery she came in to talk while I finished dilating.

My Mother is a strong woman and she labored and delivered her four children naturally. As she sat with me and observed my labor she just kept saying there was no way I was progressing with such weak contractions. She was astonished that I was able to relax, talk, and even sleep through my contractions. I assured her that was the beauty of an epidural.

Stella had told me that if I started to feel pressure even with the epidural to be sure and let her know because that could mean it is time to push. At about 12:30 p.m. I began to feel a little pressure with each contraction but it would go away when I was not having a contraction. I called her in just to be sure and she said she would check me just to be safe. As she is getting ready to check she says there is no way I could have went that fast but she would see where we were anyway. I believe she also said, “I will just throw up if you are a 10”.

Well I was at a 10 and ready to push. Just 5 ½ short hours after starting pitocin I was ready to push. Stella prepared the room and supplies and we started the pushing process at 1 p.m. Stella, Jess, and I all made a guess at what time we thought Jackson would be born at the start of me pushing. Jess said he would arrive at 1:17, Stella said 1:30, and I said 2 p.m.

Meanwhile my doctor, who thought I would go well into the afternoon before having the baby, is still in a surgery. Stella called her to let her know that I was starting the pushing process. She was astounded and said she needed to see a few patients and to call her when I was about to deliver.

The whole pushing process is very tiring. I remember staring at the clock push after push and wondering when it would be over. I just knew that I wanted to meet my baby boy so badly and put all of that desire into each push. Jackson’s heart rate was steady throughout the entire delivery and I was so thankful that he had not had issues as he had the weeks prior. I, on the other hand, was having some issues with my heart rate. Every time I tried to change positions my heart rate would shoot up to 150-180bpm. Fortunately it would quickly resolve and once I delivered it returned to normal.

At one point I tired out enough that Stella thought it might help to look in a mirror to help me push. I had told Jess prior to the delivery “absolutely NO mirror,” and at that moment he went into protective mode. Stella urged that it would help move things along and all I wanted was to meet our boy, so I agreed. The mirror did two things…First, it helped me see exactly how I needed to push to get results and more important I could see his little head and it gave me the extra bit of encouragement to push through.

After about 45 minutes Stella called Dr. Carter, knowing I was getting close. After that I continued to push through contractions but the room got very busy. Extra nurses and my poor Doctor whorun across the street at 8 months pregnant to deliver our baby. Those last few pushes with a room of people cheering you on is surreal. You realize that you are about to meet the person you have been waiting to meet for nine whole months. At 1:55p.m. we finally got to meet our precious baby boy.

He came out with a cry so small and trembling. They instantly put him to my chest and at that moment the rest of the room stood still. I know there were people there moving about and working on me but at that time I was oblivious to them. It was just our little family all snuggled up in amazement. He was perfect, every little bit of him was perfect!

Jess and I could not stop smiling and I cried. I cried because I felt so blessed and amazed that we were parents. I cried because I had never felt a love as intense as the love I felt for Jackson. I remember his cry, he sweet facial features, and his huge hands and feet the most.

Sweet Profile

With the help of the lactation nurse, I was able to nurse Jackson for the first time. He was very good at nursing on one side but we really struggled due to my anatomy on the other. After a few hours with our little boy we were moved to the Mother Baby room. That afternoon and evening our family and friends were able to meet our precious boy. We had a ton of visitors! At one time someone said the hallway outside our room was full of people. I work at the hospital where I delivered, so many of my work friends were coming up during their breaks as well. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur and I just remember wanting to settle in for the night.

We kept Jackson in our room trough the night and I tried to nurse several times through the night and was usually successful. The rest of our stay in the hospital was fairly typical. I feel so blessed that everything went as perfectly as it did and I am so thankful for this healthy little gift of life.

Jackson, I love you more today than I could have ever imagined.  my love for you just grows and grows.